From an Orphan - The Deep Side of my Life

The Change Was Good For Me

It is hard to believe that in a few days it will be the 14th anniversary of my parents’ tragic car accident and death. The 13th of February is the anniversary of the day my life changed forever. It was a change which I myself didn’t believe I could handle, yet here I am today. Change is inevitable and sometimes change can be painful. I never really understood why that particular change had to occur in my life, and I probably never will; but there is one thing I have to admit: the change was good for me…

As far as I can remember (and considering what many people tell me), my parents were amazing people. I still have very vivid memories of my life with them. I remember my father standing at the back of the school hall as I recited my very first poem at the age of six years old; and I remember my mother’s smile as she jokingly taught my sisters and I how to “walk like ladies”. I remember my father laughing at how scared my sisters and I were when he bought us our first pet (a golden cocker spaniel puppy which I had named Princess); and I remember my mother cooking her favorite foods which she had discovered on her numerous trips abroad. I have many wonderful memories of my parents; memories which made it both easy and difficult to adapt to change, a change I now realize was good for me…

Before my parents died, I was a happy child. Those who knew me back then would tell you that my sometimes shy demeanor was a mere front, and that I was actually quite outgoing and cheerful. Being the middle child made me somewhat independent from a young age, and my father entrusted me with many responsibilities. Apart from being bullied, school was one of my favorite places to be and I never left school award ceremonies empty-handed. When my parent’s died some people literally told me that I would amount to nothing, but the change was actually good for me…

In a perfect world, I would never want my parents to die so young. I would have loved for my mother to teach me how to be a woman and I would have loved for my father to walk me down the aisle. I would have loved not to have to work from the age of 12 years old just to pay for school fees and to have a bite to eat. I would have loved not being homeless for weeks and not having to sleep on the floor with no bed. I would have loved to watch my baby sister be spoiled rotten and I would have loved to see my mother smile at my big sister’s university graduation. I would have loved to have someone help me pay my university tuition and I would have loved my children to meet their maternal grandparents. Nevertheless, as much as I would have loved for my parents to be here today, I know that the change was good for me…

The change was good because it made me stronger and it made me appreciate life. The change was good because it taught me valuable life lessons; lessons I may not have learnt if I had it easy. The change was good because it made me see certain people for who they really were. But most importantly, the change was good for me because it gave me a story to tell; a story to inspire, encourage to give hope to all those going through tough times.

So as I celebrate my parents’ lives, instead of mourning their death, I am thankful. I am thankful for life, for love and for change.

R.I.P. Mummy and Daddy. We will never stop loving you.



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